Friday, July 08, 2005

Reflections on drinking alone

After a long, hard day, most people enjoy meeting each other for drinks and discussing their long, hard days. I myself used to regularly partake in this ritual, deriving some small amount of comfort from the knowledge that my friends also had unfulfilling jobs, deadbeat boyfriends, and families that seemed determined to derail any measure of success they might attain. After awhile, the burden seemed to get lighter until it was almost just funny. Lately, however, all this commisseration has begun to depress me, and in the face of talking about it with my friends, I sort of just want to go home and drink scotch in my bathtub and literally wallow in my problems, drinking until I no longer remember my name, much less my day. But drinking alone is stigmatized, the "first sign of alcoholism," something only losers do. So for awhile it remained a deep, dark fantasy of mine.

Until last night.

Yesterday, my boyfriend, who is possessed by bar examiners, was fighting with me. Rather than manifesting his possession in a cool way, like having his head spin around, speaking in tongues, or vomiting pure green bile Exorcist-style, it just makes him ornery and mean. Not only was I unhappy because of the fighting, I had had a long day at work and some bullshit to do at school after work. I was too tired to go out with friends, but definitely needed to take the edge off. So I did what any reasonable person would do: I put on a hat, quickly ducked into a liquor store, and grabbed a bottle of Black Label. I truly felt like I was breaking the law, like everyone in the store was staring at me, knowing what I was going to do with it and that they thought I was a huge loser. I stashed the bag in my purse and made my way to school with shame.

I got home at about 10:30 and immediately ran myself a bubble bath. I put some ice in a glass and estimated that when I go out drinking, I usually have about four drinks, so I should only have one for it to be a socially acceptable "nightcap." Apparently, bars use quite a lot more ice than I did. As I stepped out of the bath twenty minutes later and nearly fell flat on my face, I realized that I was really quite shitfaced and that I should probably get in bed and turn the phone off. I made it to bed, but when I woke up this morning (fresh as a daisy, I might add) and checked the phone, I realized that I had not turned it off, as was evidenced by the record of a phone call at 12:51 A.M. from my boyfriend to me that lasted one minute, eleven seconds. I spent most of the day today wondering what transpired during that one minute, eleven seconds. Turns out I just whimpered, "I'm so hammered" until he told me he'd call me back the next day.

Moral of the story: I do understand why people stigmatize drinking alone, but it worked out pretty well for me last night. Sometimes, it's better not to talk about your problems, and there's nothing like a little "nightcap" to put the demons to sleep.

4 Comments:

Blogger oakleyses said...

kate spade outlet, gucci handbags, burberry pas cher, longchamp outlet, jordan pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, ugg boots, louboutin pas cher, nike roshe, christian louboutin uk, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, tiffany jewelry, prada outlet, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, nike free, christian louboutin, polo outlet, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, nike air max, longchamp outlet, ugg boots, prada handbags, chanel handbags, oakley sunglasses wholesale, longchamp pas cher, polo ralph lauren, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton, replica watches, christian louboutin shoes, nike outlet, nike free run, christian louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, uggs on sale, polo ralph lauren outlet online, michael kors pas cher, jordan shoes, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton outlet, sac longchamp pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, replica watches, tiffany and co

11:22 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban uk, nike air max, kate spade, michael kors outlet, hogan outlet, north face, true religion jeans, hollister uk, uggs outlet, true religion outlet, polo lacoste, replica handbags, true religion outlet, new balance, nike tn, michael kors, abercrombie and fitch uk, vans pas cher, michael kors outlet, nike roshe run uk, hollister pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, michael kors outlet online, ray ban pas cher, burberry handbags, burberry outlet, ralph lauren uk, coach outlet store online, mulberry uk, nike free uk, michael kors outlet online, oakley pas cher, coach purses, uggs outlet, michael kors outlet, lululemon canada, north face uk, nike air force, converse pas cher, timberland pas cher, nike air max uk, michael kors, michael kors outlet online, nike air max uk, nike blazer pas cher, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet, true religion outlet, sac hermes

11:26 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

nike trainers uk, ghd hair, asics running shoes, new balance shoes, wedding dresses, insanity workout, vans outlet, soccer shoes, hollister, beats by dre, north face outlet, baseball bats, jimmy choo outlet, north face outlet, louboutin, oakley, hollister clothing, hermes belt, ferragamo shoes, celine handbags, abercrombie and fitch, reebok outlet, ralph lauren, chi flat iron, nike air max, bottega veneta, hollister, mcm handbags, giuseppe zanotti outlet, vans, iphone cases, timberland boots, converse outlet, converse, nike roshe run, instyler, mac cosmetics, gucci, soccer jerseys, babyliss, nike huaraches, lululemon, mont blanc pens, nfl jerseys, p90x workout, nike air max, ray ban, longchamp uk, valentino shoes, herve leger

11:29 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

links of london, swarovski, coach outlet, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, pandora jewelry, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, thomas sabo, swarovski crystal, moncler, barbour uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, canada goose, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, canada goose, pandora uk, supra shoes, toms shoes, doudoune moncler, louis vuitton, marc jacobs, wedding dresses, louis vuitton, canada goose uk, lancel, moncler outlet, hollister, canada goose, pandora charms, moncler, moncler, moncler uk, juicy couture outlet, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, canada goose jackets, montre pas cher, ugg pas cher, canada goose outlet, moncler, ugg, karen millen uk, moncler outlet, replica watches, ugg uk, barbour

11:32 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Website Counter
Website Counter