Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Year's Pukin' Eve

It is December 28th - nay, December 29th - and I still have no idea what to do for New Year's Eve. My friends are split on this issue, much like the federal circuit courts as to the proper application and scope of the Rooker-Feldman doctrine. (Sorry.) Some, mainly those with paying jobs, are going the tried and true route: paying upwards of $200 for parties at hotels or posh bars, where they can drink cheap vodka all night long and have a plastic champagne glass full of Korbel at midnight, while hopefully making out with other similarly situated folks.

I would do this, but I have done it before (for less than $200, mind you), and I can tell you exactly what happens when I am placed in front of an open bar for five hours: I conclude my night by throwing up. I can throw up for $10 just as well as I can for $200. Armed with this knowledge, I have decided to forego the expensive route and end my New Year's praying to the porcelain goddess happy and smug in my thriftiness.

Other friends, such as this one, are trying to throw small house parties. I am amenable to house parties, particularly the kind that involve top shelf liquor placed freely on tables with buckets of ice and party cups, but I have a little feeling that this year, things will be a little different. The idea of sitting in R's apartment with her horrific, nightmarish friends makes me want to spend the night on my couch drinking out of a bottle of whiskey while cursing at Dick Clark, or whoever does that show now.

Suggestions? Let me know, cause I know there's gotta be an in-betweenish option out there that will permit me to blow chunks in style at the end of the night.

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