Thursday, January 19, 2006

Et tu, Biatch

Fresh on the heels of my new trial law kick, I have begun to resign myself to the fact that I will never make any money. I went to law school expecting that I would have a numbered bank account someplace tropical with enough money that I could be reunited with my savings someday in that tropical place, and that together we could live in luxury for at least a year. Well, fat chance. Last time I checked, people who actually practice the law (instead of proofread or hit buttons to indicate whether the CEO's email about the awesome blowjob he got from his secretary is "responsive" or "non-responsive") make less than transit workers.

Okay. This is the way it is. It doesn't make sense, but I guess I can "rough it" while I'm young. My cats like Purina as much as Science Diet, and I realize I don't like Starbucks coffee that much anyway. But I do worry about things like paying my loans back. So I went to speak to some lady in the career services office about loan repayment plans. See, real law schools have this thing they do, where if you are working in a job in the "public interest," they will forgive some debt. I wanted to find out exactly how much debt forgiveness we're talking.

I have no use for the career office under normal circumstances, as I have already noted ad nauseum, but they had another piece of information I needed. I wanted to know how much a certain public agency that might be giving me a job pays. Their website is suspiciously silent on that issue. I anticipated the worst.

I spoke to a woman in the office who had good news and bad news for me. This is an improvement over the other times I have spoken to them, which is usually bad news and worse news. The good news is that they don't pay as little as I had expected. This is not to say that they will pay me enough to sustain even half the lifestyle I want, but at least the cats and I probably won't starve. The loan forgiveness, on the other hand, was so small, so pitiful, and so totally unhelpful that I can't believe they advertise this program's usefulness to students with a straight face. I will be paying my loans off until I am 120, but I guess that's one of the modern world's wonderful new realities.

One thing this sloppy, disorganized cow told me on the way out really rubbed me the wrong way though. I asked her if she had any other suggestions, maybe some that might pay a little more, and she looked at me like I had three heads. "If you have an offer," she sneered at me, "why would you ever think about turning it down?"

"Ah, well, never accept a first offer, ha ha," I replied, not sure if she was serious.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah. I just want to be sure it's the right job for me. I don't want to take it because it's the only thing I've got so far," I replied.

"I don't know why you would ever think about messing around with an offer." And with that, she turned her back on me and waddled back to her office.

Is this the way they are trained to speak to us? As though one offer from a place that pays less than menial labor is the only offer I'm ever going to get, and if I don't accept it I'm an idiot? Am I really that undesirable? Luckily, I have not yet reached the point where I'm going to take advice from someone who works in the Career Office. I guess it was the only job she could get.

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