Monday, May 01, 2006

Tell me this is a joke

Just in case anyone thought I was exaggerating the ludicrousness of school policy, try this one on for size: my sister's college graduation happens to fall on the day of an exam. I wrote to the student affairs office and asked them if we could reschedule the exam for the day before so I could attend. Here's what they said:

Unfortunately the faculty determined rescheduling policy does not permit rescheduling exams for such family obligations.
Best Regards.

Call me crazy, but what better reason is there under the sun to reschedule an exam than a family obligation? What in life is more important than family? Certainly not a fucking exam! I think I'll have my mother call and yell at them, as she is the only person on earth more capable than I of conveying through her tone of voice that she believes the person on the other end of the line to be no better and no more deserving of respect than gum on the bottom of her shoe.

Also, "best regards?" What are their worst regards like?*

I have half a mind to get in touch with the dean of my school and give them a piece of my mind. I think it's pretty appalling that they market themselves as being family-friendly by having a wide selection of part-time programs, but when you ask them to make a family-friendly decision, the "faculty" has "determined" that "family obligations" are not a good enough reason to reschedule exams. Translation: they are way too cheap to hire a couple of blind and senile proctors to sit in with me and make sure I don't cheat (on an open book exam, natch). I know my friend J is right and the school is just a "favorably taxed profit center," but they could at least pretend to be something else on times like this.

*In college, I always wondered why Ramen noodles were entitled "Top Ramen." What on earth did "Bottom Ramen" taste like??


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