Thursday, June 22, 2006

Caution: bar studying may be hazardous to your health

For the past few days, my left foot has really, really hurt. I was totally confused by this, because even though I am a total klutz, I could not remember banging it, twisting it, or otherwise causing injury to myself. I figured I'd best let it go and concentrate on studying, so I didn't go to the doctor or do anything about it. Last night, I took a (painful) walk to the bank to deposit a check, where a perfect stranger asked me, "Miss, are you okay? You're limping!"

Yeah, thanks, buddy.

So today I finally gave in and called the doctor. I described my symptoms (swollen, painful, no apparent bruising, sore to the touch, very difficult to walk on) to my doctor, who of course wanted to know how I did this to myself. I had to tell her that I had absolutely no idea. She prescribed either a heating pad or warm soaks and Motrin, and said I should keep it elevated. "You are so weird," she commented. "You always call me with the most bizarre injuries.* How do you keep doing this stuff to yourself?"

This afternoon, I was busy condensing my evidence outline when my right foot began to really hurt. What the hell is wrong with me, I asked myself. What have I done now???

And then, EUREKA! I figured it out.

See, I do this thing when I study. I sit with one foot dangling and one foot underneath me. I've always sat this way while at my desk. It's always been very comfortable. I don't even do it consciously - it just happens this way. But now that I have been sitting at my desk more than I ever have in my life, and I am not kidding, I have hurt first one foot and then the other.

So now I am tied to my apartment as it is too painful for me to walk anywhere on my bruised and aching feet. And I have an ice pack on the right foot, and a heating pad on the left.

Seriously, people, you cannot make this shit up.

*She may also be referring to the time I called her from Rome, asking if one could get rabies from a horse bite (sustained outside the Coliseum). Don't ask.

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