Thursday, July 13, 2006

But I'm not having a bad day or anything, really

To the fat bitches on law review shouting at the top of their lungs in the office next door and impeding my bar studying:

I know that in the game of law school, you won.

I know that you are more likely to pass the bar than I am, and that you have excellent jobs lined up for this coming September. I also know that you received a summer bonus, and likely a salary advance, just for being you.

But at least I am not morbidly obese, from Long Island or New Jersey, and at least I do not end every sentence with a question mark. (To wit: "Barbri's essay grading is, like, totally wrong? I mean, I totally saw that issue? I don't know what grader 210 was thinking?") At least I don't brag publicly about how my parents' cleaning lady comes in from the suburbs twice a week because "I just can't clean my own bathroom." At least I don't publicly promote the fact that I cannot cook [Ed.: because I can] and that the sight of raw meat makes me, like, totally nauseous! At least I have never bragged about how "I will so totally make the worst wife?"

Now do us all a favor and shut the fuck up so I can study.

Love,
Me

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You never cease to crack me the eff up! Hang in there; it's almost over. Everyone is pissed off. I have been all day, until I read your post.

10:44 PM  

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