Optimism

One day, this whole legal thing will come easily. One day, I'll have a real job, that I can wake up in the morning, get dressed, brush my hair, and take the subway to. I'll pick up a nice cup of coffee on the way, maybe from Dunkin' Donuts, and sip it on the way, trying not to spill it on my suit. I'll probably fail but I'll be wearing a black suit so it won't show too much. I'll swipe my ID card upon entering my office building, say "Good morning" to the security people (whom I will know by name), and I'll head upstairs to my office. I'll have my own office, or maybe one that I share, but it will be a real office, not a desk in a hallway. It will have my name printed outside on a piece of metal, not written on a piece of paper.

So far it hasn't happened. As the people from better law schools, or who had better grades, or whose parents are big clients get ready to go to start their jobs at firms, I'm still sitting on my ass doing nothing all day. This week I did my own laundry for the first time in two years and three months. This is for two reasons: I've got nothing but time, and I'm slowly running out of money. Make that quickly running out of money. You know things have reached an impasse when I am so bored I will go do my own laundry in a laundromat when it is 90 degrees out.

I've never been able to do things the conventional way. I've always gotten what I want, but it's always come in a non-traditional manner. I went to a private high school, but only after the public one wanted to throw me out. I graduated from a very highly-ranked university, but only after transferring there from an extremely unorthodox institution of "higher learning" (more like a how-late-can-you-sleep-before-you-wake-and-bake contest). And I did get my legal dream job, it just happens to not start until January - and that's assuming I passed the bar, which, as you may recall, I for one am not assuming. So I have all this free time. Which means I need a temp job.

Finding a temp job has been another exercise in banging my head against the wall. Who knew that there would be next to no market for my services? I don't have any legal experience that would get me a job as a temporary attorney, and I don't have any paralegal experience that would get me a high-paying job as a paralegal. I've never heard of most of the programs they want the paralegals to use, and although given I've known paralegals and I can't imagine they are that difficult to learn, no experience means no job. I can't even find a job as a legal secretary. I couldn't even work at Banana Republic because the last time I worked in a clothing store I was 15.

Someday, be it in January or later, I will get my job. I will have a title, I will get a paycheck, and I will not watch "Full House" during the day. After all, things will be different and better in the future. My favorite verse from my favorite psalm, which is said after eating on Shabbat, is:

הזעים בדמעה, ברנה יקצרו

which means, approximately, "those who sow tears will reap joy." Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

In the meantime, Stephanie and Michelle are babysitting a pig, and it's running loose in the Tanner home, so I'd better get back to it.