Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Sometimes truth is more vomit-inducing than fiction

I talk a lot of shit about law students and how lame they are. I realize that, at times, it may sound like I am embellishing or even outright lying to prove a point. Well, here's some cold hard evidence that I am not. I received the following email this morning from some douchebag 1L wanting to know where his fucking invitation to my journal is. Why have we not hand-delivered an engraved invitation on good, heavy card stock? WHERE IS IT??? I mean, so what if no 1Ls have been notified yet? Boy, has our esteemed executive board been remiss. (I would like to point out at this juncture that I am not on the executive board, which is responsible for making membership decisions, so why he sent it to me to begin with is a mystery. Especially in light of the fact that you'd have to have been illiterate to miss the signs the board put up advertising their glorious election - which remained posted by each and every staircase and elevator for a full month.) Read it and weep:

I am not sure if you are the right people to contact, but I got your names off the masthead. I am a 1L and have not yet received notice about [your journal]. I am well within the top 15% [GPA redacted to protect the guilty]. Additionally, I received an "A" on my oral argument, an "A" in legal writing for the year, and I will be a legal writing TA starting this fall. These all were listed in the competition memo as qualifying criteria.

I must know soon so I can update my resume for OCI. If I have not made [your journal], please respond with an explanation for the misunderstanding.

Thank you very much for your help in resolving this matter.

Very truly yours,


Cell: [redacted]

ps- If you are not the appropriate parties to whom I should be directing my inquiry, please respond to this email with the correct contacts.

I couldn't have made it up if I tried.

I would also like to point out that this tool will have more interviews than I did, and despite his toolishness, still has a better shot at getting a good job than I do. And I went to law school because I cared about justice!


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