Tuesday, October 31, 2006

A girl walked into a bar: ouch

It's almost November and that can only mean one thing: the bar results will soon be here. The date could be as soon as two weeks from now, according to BarBri! I'm not excited. You could say that I'm nervous, but that would be something of an understatement. I'm terrified.

My mom always says it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'm pretty confident that it would. First, there's the embarrassment. The list is so public that everyone who's ever wished me ill will be able to see that I failed, and I don't want to give anyone that satisfaction. Enemies aside, it will be impossible to talk to people for at least a year, because everyone will feel sorry for me. It would be like hanging out in the law review office, for a whoooooole year. Sure sounds like the end of the world to me!

Then, there's the job thing. My job is contingent upon passing the bar. I wouldn't get to start it until next September or something like that. That's obviously unworkable, but try finding a job once bar results have come out and you failed. I can only imagine what that might be like: third year's job search, but worse. Sounds fun!

Finally, there's the money problem. I'd need all of February to study, and thus I wouldn't be able to work. I'm pretty sure my parents are not willing to subsidize another trip down BarBri lane, plus all the incidentals of bar studying (take out, bills, shopping binges to remind myself that life still has pleasure in it, and so on). Studying is horrible for many reasons, but mainly it's just really expensive (and it made me sort of fatter). I have no idea how I'd do it again, and I'd rather not think about it.

I know that the odds are in my favor. But after the way I felt after the MBE . . . statistics just seem like meaningless numbers. I can only hope that it will be a repeat of tests like my NY CPLR final, where I walked out certain that I had bombed but did well. What can I say? There wasn't usually a link between my grades in law school and the way I felt on the way out of the exam room, and I can only continue to hope and pray that the same will hold true for this final law exam.

I say final because if I do fail, I don't really that I want to go through it again. There's got to be another career out there for me that law school prepared me for that doesn't require the bar. I mean, I can't think what it might be, but it's got to be out there somewhere.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that you are taking an extreme position....if you fail, take it again. It's not the end of the world. Just suck it up and do it again, like everyone else that has failed the exam.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! Like its that easy. Talk about a huge blow. I am waiting for results that are supposed to be out tomorrow and I am fliiiipping out and thinking all the same things as the post. Please, good Lord, let me pass! Cant the bar just take poor pity on us! We try to hard!

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope the results go well.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Harmless Error said...

You will pass! I took NY and MA, and found out I passed MA today. I am so relieved and kind of amazed considering the only studying I did for the MA essays was on the train back to Boston after finishing the MBE in NYC. I reallllllly thought I bombed the MBE. MA doesn't release passers' scores, but I'm just going to assume I passed NY too:)

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Its like you're reading my thoughts. Good luck to you!

10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you think the bar is tough, try studying for the MPRE!

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ummmm...unless you were being sarcastic, we DID study for the MPRE in order to take the bar exam. Good luck on that tomorrow.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarcasm doesn't always work online. Good luck with the bar results!

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