Monday, November 06, 2006

On stress

In a German class I took in college, my professor told us a story that has stayed with me, even as 95% of the German I learned has disappeared. She attended her five-year-old niece's birthday party in Cologne, a large affair in her sister's backyard complete with clowns, cakes, gifts, a pink theme, etc., everything a little girl could want. At the end of the party, my professor asked her niece, "Did you have a good time at your party?"

"Ja," the little girl replied seriously, "aber es war so stressig!"*

I have been stressed before. I didn't handle law school very well, and I didn't handle studying for the bar terribly well either. But this has got to be a record. Never before, for example, have I had an eye twitch. It is really that bad. And it's not just waiting for the bar, although that's definitely the major thing on my list. There's a few other choice scenarios to stress me out, like:

- Thanksgiving (which I am preparing), when my mother will meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time
- Anytime I speak to my mother
- My continuing health insurance debacle, thanks to the diligent efforts of my father, who is too busy to get in touch with the appropriate people, but not too busy to buy a Lexus or go on a cruise to Aruba
- Etc., etc., etc.

The upshot is that I am enmeshed in all these situations I cannot control, and there's nothing for me to lean on anymore. In college, I would have dealt with (and did deal with) similar issues by getting shitfaced and vomiting my problems away. I'm a little too old for that now and so I have really had to try to find more efficient means of dealing with what ails me. I do very much enjoy cooking as stress relief, but I'm not sure that will cut it. The Borat movie helped (go see it), and Netflix isn't bad either, a little escapism can be a good thing. I mean honestly, whoever decided denial is unhealthy had it totally backwards. Too much talking about and analyzing turns you into an obsessive freak who loses the forest for the trees...I think that pretending like you don't have any problems when you do is far and away the best coping mechanism out there. Plus it's a lot less likely to drive your friends away, unless they are your Internet friends, in which case they are more likely to continue to read your blog. I have noticed that when I'm in a good mood and post accordingly, nobody comments. So to everyone who reads this, and please know that I love it that you do, be prepared for the next couple of weeks to be full of bitching, complaining, and the written equivalent of about three eye twitches per minute. I hope you enjoy it because I sure as hell am not! (Well, I enjoy writing about it, but I'm wound so tightly right now that I threatened to call the Better Business Bureau on no fewer than three companies last week. No joke, but I do love my new Moto Razr!)

*"Yes, but it was so stressful!"


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